A day in the life of a slightly deranged widow… The Dentist

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Today I had the dubious task of accompanying my daughter and two grandchildren to the dentist. Usually this wouldn’t be too terrible but in this day of Covid its a major undertaking, I live nearly an hour away from my daughter but as she doesn’t drive I try to help when I can as public transport is dire and the walk is long and not fun with happy children let alone a 5 year old with an abscess and a 2 year old who only seems to need a nap at the most inconvenient of times. Toddler and I are going to wait in the car whilst Kitty and her mum brave the wonderful ladies who I have been reliably informed are the tooth fairy’s best friends. I’m not sure Kitty is going to be impressed if they aren’t dressed in Tutus and tiaras , maybe  the PPE has been pimped?

Happily jumping out of the car things start to go downhill rapidly…DO NOT LET HIM SLEEP snarls my usually sweet tempered daughter…as Jaime announces’ little nap close my eyes nanny!’ I try everything…I get out my phone and breathe deeply…who cares about data charges? Lets find a few fireman sam episodes and talk brightly about everything whilst he watches. Heavy lids begin to close and I suggest we sing a song… manically making up forgotten words I brightly sing  about boats crocodiles and somehow a monkey jumping on the bed slips in but it jolts him out of blissful slumber ( My singing is that bad yes!) and I count the minutes…soon, they will be back soon but then my daughter materialises at the door. Mum…go in…she wont let them do it for me!

Right I’ve taught and I’ve spent a life time dealing with all manner of children, I’ll sort this, But it is a special relationship with us, I’m reduced to 5 and Kitty is in charge. I swear she is the reincarnation of my mother ( A tiny little lady who could fell 7 foot men with a glare).

I enter the room and smile sweetly, the exorcist has nothing on the scene before me. This normally sweet elfin child has become a hobgoblin with jaws clamped shut with a force comparable to the great white shark. I plead, I cajole then I bribe,  there is no shame as we have been waiting for this appointment for a year! I hint we are going to go shopping after with pennies for being so brave… but nothing and 4  capable , intelligent and time tested adults are reduced to nothing . One by one we admit defeat. Kitty senses this and relaxes, I ask her to just open her mouth so the dentist can count her teeth and she sweetly obliges with her mouth gaping, I glance at the dentist my eyes sparking the message…do it! get in there ! quick ! But her honestly and desire to be trusted in future along with professional integrity dont allow her to do anything sneaky and teeth are simply counted viewed and left untouched …

We left the room and the lovely tooth fairy assistant produced a pack of stickers to choose from for being ‘ so brave’ personally I think my daughter and I deserve one but Kitty sweetly chooses disney princess and skips back to the car where mummy is still  keeping a sleepy boy awake and declares next time she will let them do it. We tug seat belts around everyone still desperately keeping songs going when Kitty realises she isn’t going to get to spend tooth fairy money at the toy shop…hell hath no fury like a hobgoblin kept from her gold and the drive home is ‘loud’. 

What a day…I drove home and entered the house, Andy would have had a glass of wine waiting  for me and a huge cuddle… I walk into the kitchen. Pour out some red…clink his empty glass and sit in his space on the sofa with his jumper and my dogs. 

 

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