A day in the life of a slightly deranged widow… The resignation

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So huge decisions have had to be made. I love my job, I love the place, the people, the work itself and I can honestly say my time working there has been perfect in so many ways. But the time has come that for so many reasons I need to move on. I am so isolated and financial implications are such that I need to work full time.

Luckily I have been offered another job and after all the checks and forms have been sorted I now have a start date and need to write a letter of resignation. How difficult this is. Usually you’d do this with glee…maybe moving on to pastures new after a disagreement or perhaps a promotion or exciting new venture. But mine is with sadness, trepidation and the huge overwhelming sense that I am leaving yet another part of Andy behind and it breaks my heart. 

I remember the day I came for my interview here, I’d been in my current job for many years and a piece of the furniture so the idea of an interview filled me with dread. I picked out my favourite frock and careful applied makeup. I think Andy was a bit shocked when I sent him a pic of me ready for the interview with a caption

 ‘ would you employ this woman?’  

Since moving in with him I had foregone the dating days of contact lenses, make up and dressing to impress and we had fallen into a comfy regime of shower and lucky if I brushed my hair! I won’t tell you what his reply was but  the job he was offering wasn’t the one I was intending to apply for! Nevertheless it gave me the confidence to smile and know I scrubbed up ok if I had to.

I went up to the school and sat in a room with who I now know to be three of the kindest most generous spirited men, but at the time it was intimidating and way out of my comfort zone. I had looked up interview techniques but my friend had given me a sage piece of advice…imagine them sat on the loo…they are no better than you and we all have to poo! 

They asked me questions and I fluffed my way through smiling and wittering on insanely. I have no idea how I got the job but I found myself handing in my resignation filled with excitement  and although nervous it was happy and I was so thrilled to be working and living with Andy that nothing seemed to matter other than that. I left my school that summer with tears and a whole school assembly that will live on in my memory with a song written especially for me and sung by the children, presents and a rousing rendition of world in union ringing in my ears a tribute to my love of rugby and probably the silly PE dance lessons of teaching the HAKA . Not a sight for the faint hearted but memorable and I do wonder how many of those children are today reminded of strange face pulling, tongue waggling, arm slapping and stomping around the school hall.

 I spent that summer holiday in a total euphoria of a blissful bubble. I was here and I had no need to  contemplate the future of waking at early hours to defrost the car in the winter or driving miles in the dark home . 

How different  the mood this letter was written in. But as Simon ( Andy’s trusty sidekick at work and a tower of support in those awful early days ) has put it to me  ‘I’m channeling my inner Andy…Bloody do it!’

So I’ve written the letter and sent it off. Huge deep breath as I did but…

 

I Bloody Did It!

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