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What is Patience?
Can we agree that Patience is a good trait of character to possess, variously described by different faiths and philosophers as a virtue?
The first known recording in English of this expression is in Piers Plowman a narrative poem believed to have been written by William Langland between 1360 and 1387. One line in the poem states that “patience is a fair virtue.”
It is similar to the Latin expression, “maxima enim, patientia virtus” written by Cato the Elder, stating that Patience is the Greatest Virtue. A virtue is a standard of behaviour a society or individual believes to be right, determined by conscience. Conscience is a self-awareness that a moral standard has been breached. There are numerous synonyms to describe the state of being patient, unexcited, coolheaded, laid back, level-headed, cool as cucumber, unimpressed, unexcitable, to name but a few.
Whatever the etymology of the word or concept, without some degree of patience, life would be very difficult if not impossible. There is the immediate problem of coping with daily hassles and annoyances. Triggers will vary according to the individual. An occurrence that annoys one person may be met by another, with equanimity. Fortunately, with the practise of patience, annoyance can be defused. In daily life, this will lead to better mental health and may lower blood pressure, which rises when constantly on edge.
Another example of patience that is helpful, is the calm manner of waiting to reach a long-term goal, such as studying for an examination. Also, when dealing with a period of financial hardship or a long-term health problem, waiting it out can reduce stress.
Then there is the patience needed when interacting with other people. In 1 Corinthians 13.48 it is said that “Love is patient, Love is kind” Some people require a great deal of patience, but forbearance is usually beneficial to all parties. Indeed, there are probably times when we all need people to be patient with us!
Of course, there is a negative side to patience, if taken to an extreme. It is possible to have too much of a good thing. Patience and kindness should not mean becoming a doormat and allowing people to disrespect you. Sometimes you need to be proactive to make progress, either at home or at work. Chasing up a hospital appointment, which is on a long waiting list will reduce anxiety and ensure you are not overlooked by the system. Each situation must be judged on its merits before deciding that “Enough is Enough”.
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At least I’ve never met anyone who says “I don’t mind if I lose something” in effect “Am I bothered? However, It doesn’t seem to bother some people that much, as they keep on losing everyday items. In the case of keys, these need to be found before leaving the house.
For some people, though, even the temporary loss of an item is a big deal and they may come close to “losing it” themselves. Apart from the irritation at being without the item, the loss undermines self-belief in competence and control over life.
Recently, I lost a full-length waist slip. This bothered me greatly. “How could such a large garment go missing?” I asked myself reprovingly. I retraced my steps to the last time I had seen it, draped over a chair in the bedroom and later on a chair in the sitting room. In hot weather, I had been wearing it around the house. (What people choose to wear when alone in the house, may be the subject of another story) Its loss bothered me throughout the Euro Cup semi-final and while Harry Kane, only had to score a penalty, I had to find my waist slip!
After the match, I scrabbled about for it under the sofa. No luck, it was nowhere to be found. I convinced myself that in a fit of enthusiasm about tidying up, I had thrown it away without thinking. Yes, that was it. At some point, it is necessary to draw a line on searching and move on.
Of course, if the item has great sentimental value, such as a wedding ring, the loss will be especially hard to take, for reasons of grief as well as self-annoyance. Stories of rings turning up years later when gardening, sometimes make a news item. “There is the diamond, gleaming among the cabbages” reads the headline, ending years of hurt.
I am happy to report a good result in the case of the slip that gave me the slip. Irritated with seeing it lying around, I had put it in with the items for handwashing. It was with deep joy that once identified, I lifted its dripping length out of the washbasin. I am glad to say that I had not totally lost it!
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